Two friends were at a bookstore perusing through the nonfiction section.

Friend 1: "Oh my goodness, they have this book! It’s a really great book. I highly recommend it."

Friend 2: "Really? What’s it about?"

Friend 1: "Oh, about 357 pages."

What’s the first thing sea animals learn in school?

Their A-B-Seas.

Definition of Eternity: The last two minutes of a football game.

Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all the boys would make fun of me.

Moe: What did you do?

Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse.