Father: Now Little Johnny, be good while I’m away.

Little Johnny: Okay dad, I’ll be good for a dollar.

Father: Why son, when I was your age I was good for nothing!

A man and his wife are talking:

Man - "What would happen if I were to win the lottery?"

Woman - "I would take half and leave you in a heartbeat!"

Man - "I won twelve dollars, here's six now get out!"

How do Spanish cows say thanks for the food that he eats?

“Moo-chas Grass-ias!”

I have so much debt...

I can start a government.