Fifteen seconds...

Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide if you're doing anything with your life today.

Money doesn't buy happiness?

Well, it does buy a jet ski.

Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

My art instructor complimented my painting of a ring-shaped reef island...

They said, “Not bad, not bad atoll.”

My wife said she needed more space.

So I locked her outside.