A stranded motorist knocked on the door of an inn named “George and the Dragon.”

“Could you spare a poor stranded motorist a bite to eat?” he asked the woman who answered the door.

“No!” she screamed, slamming the door.

A few seconds later he knocked again. The same woman answered the door.

“Could I please have a bite to eat?” he asked again.

“Get out, you good-for-nothing!” shouted the woman. “And don’t you ever come back!”

After a few minutes there's another knock at the door. The woman comes to the door.

“Pardon,” said the motorist, “but could I have a few words with George this time?”

Mother (to sleeping Little Johnny): "Little Johnny, wake up! It’s twenty to eight."

Little Johnny (half asleep): "In whose favor?"

A father and his six-year-old son were watching a football game on TV.

After a particular bad play the father exploded, “Just look at that stupid halfback! He’s fumbled three times and every time the other team has recovered the football. Why do they let an idiot like that play in the game?”

The little boy thought for a moment and offered an explanation. “Daddy,” he said, “maybe it’s his ball.”

Barney: I have a three-season bed.

Wilma: What is a three-season bed?

Barney: One without a spring.