Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

Teacher: Are you good in history?

Little Johnny: Yes and no.

Teacher: What does that mean?

Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history.

Boyfriend: I will never lie to you, dear.

Girlfriend: How sweet!

Boyfriend: Now you tell me a lie.

A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'

He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''

The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''

Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”

Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''

The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''

Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''

''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''

Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”