Compact disc manufacturers were worried about music industry plans to phase out CDs and bring back LPs. Defending the threat to their livelihood, the CD manufacturers took their case to court, where the judge listened patiently to a lengthy debate about the relative merits of CDs and LPs.

After weighing up the various arguments, the judge ruled in favor of LPs.

The CD manufacturers were furious. “Do we have no right of appeal?” they demanded.

“I’m afraid not,” said their lawyer. “The judge’s decision is vinyl.”

If slim and fat are opposites...

Then how come “slim chance” and “fat chance” are similar?

I heard about a new website: www.needleinahaystack.com.

Took me ages to find it!

Joe: Hey Jay. I noticed you have a gambling problem. You should go to Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

Jay: I do NOT have a gambling problem!

Joe: Yes, my friend. You do.

Jay: Wanna bet I don’t?