A young boy was looking through some old family photos and asked his mother, "Who is the guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that man who lives with us now?"

A fella walks into a bar...

Unfortunately, there is a pile of dog poop just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink.

Another man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of poop, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink.

The first guy turns to the new guy and, trying to strike up a conversation, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."

The big guy punches him in the mouth.

Husband: "Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you a question?"

Wife: "Is that what I do?"

A woman walks into a store that sells expensive rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman.

"Hello M'am. How may I help you today?"

Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?"

He answers, "Well, you broke wind just touching it. I'm anxious to see what happens when you hear the price."