Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying.

She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, "Nobody loves me...the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word... "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

My wife got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days...

Then the mud fell off.

A father was teaching his 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt.

The daughter asked, "Do I click the square?"

The father said, "Yes."

The daughter then wanted to know, "Single click or double click?"

Nurse: "How old are you?"

Patient: "None of your business."

Nurse: "But the doctor must know your age for his records. Please, just tell me, I'm going to find it out anyway."

Patient: "Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?"

Nurse: "Yes. Fifty."

Patient: "All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?"

Nurse: "Zero."

Patient: "Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age."