"What did I do wrong, baby? [silence] Sweetheart... tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"I know something's wrong..."

"I'm fine."

"Just tell me what I did."

"You know what you did."

"I really don't! Please tell me so I can fix it."

"I shouldn't have to tell you. You should already know."

"Well, please... since I don't... please just tell me!"

[She sighs and turns around.] "Back in 1985..."

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. Everything quickly turned to chaos when a woman carrying a child started walking towards the front.

Everybody was surprised, shocked, and the bride even fainted. The pastor asked the woman if she had anything to say.

The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."

Why can a Cheetah not hide?

Because it's always spotted!

My high school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription, “BE MINE.”

The following day, I received a return valentine from the teacher. It read, “Thank you, but it’s still a BE MINE-US.”