A boy met a girl....

Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.

Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station.

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “which would you get?”

“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $5000, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, in bed with another man.

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the Porsche I gave you. HE paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat. HE paid for your Packer season tickets. HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your golf trip to St. Andrews and your new 4 x 4. HE paid for our country club membership and HE even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, "What would you do?"

The cabby replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold."