Two ducks are in a pond. One went "Quack quack!" and the other duck said, "That's funny, I was just about to say that!" 

Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “All right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”

Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”

Tech Support: “No, right click on ‘My Computer’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”

Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"

The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."

The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."

A psychotherapist returned from a conference in the Rocky mountains, where the delegates spent more time on the icy ski slopes than attending lectures and seminars.

When she got back, her husband asked her, "So, how did it go?"

"Fine," she replied, "but I've never seen so many Freudians slip."