If the human population held hands around the equator...

A significant portion of them would drown.

Good news, the Lego store has reopened...

People are lined up for blocks!

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the University's intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class."

My friend David had his ID stolen...

Now he’s just Dav.