Amazon is approved for drone delivery...

Which means we now have skeet shooting with prizes.

Your shadow is confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the last few feet thanks to you.

I thought there was something wrong with my pedometer app.

It thought there was something wrong with me.

It asked me if I had died.

What did one fungi say to another fungi when they got married?

“I want to grow mold with you.”