An inmate at the local detention center was sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another inmate was watching. Finally the kibitzer spoke up, "Wait a minute. I just caught you cheating yourself."

"Shhh! Don't tell anybody but for years I've been cheating at solitaire. "

"You don't say! Did you ever catch yourself cheating,?"

"Nah, I'm too clever."

I decided to do the DNA test to discover who I really am...

They sent me the results and the conclusion reached...

They sent me a package of seeds and suggested I start over again!

A man walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat?"

The librarian responds, "It rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's here or not."

Little Mary's father was typing away at his home computer, when she sneaked up behind him. Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sister asked eagerly.

Proudly Little Mary replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"