Frosty the snowman was spotted looking through the carrot bin at the local supermarket...

He was picking his nose.

MARRIAGE is a fancy word for adoption of an overgrown MAN-CHILD that can't take care of himself.

I hate it when I see an OLD person and then realize we went to school together.

Attending the funeral of a close friend I thought I recognized a lady I had not seen in 25 years.

I went up to her and said, "You look like Helen Black..."

She replied and walked away, "You don't look so good in brown!"