The math professor says, "Pi R square"....

But everyone knows "Pi R ROUND"!

What's the biggest lie one tells him/herself?

I don't need to write it down, I'll remember it later.

One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide.

The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years.

One of the tourists blurted out, "Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!"

The captain of the ship called out, "Who is below?"

A boy answered, "Wayne, sir."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Is Tom there?"

"Yes," said Tom.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping Wayne, sir."