What the worst thing about a party on the moon?

You have to PLANET.

Little Johnny's aunt was visiting and going on and on about her husband. "When he went overseas during the last war he carried my picture through every battle."

Little Johnny interrupted her with a question, "Did he use it to scare the enemy off?"

Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.

"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."

The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."

What do you call 1st President George Washington's false teeth?

PRESI-DEN-TURES!