The percussionist, tired of being teased by her band-mates, decides to switch instruments.

She walks into the local music shop, points to her choices and says, “I’ll take that trumpet and that accordion.”

The shop assistant looks at her for a second and replies, “Okay, you can take the fire extinguisher, but the radiator’s not for sale.”

Little Johnny was attending the birthday party of a classmate when the mother asked, "Little Johnny, does your mother allow you to have two pieces of cake when you are at home?"

"No, madam. "

"Well, do you think she'd like for you to have two pieces here?"

Little Johnny replied confidently, "She wouldn't care. It's not her cake."

A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."

"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."

"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."

Sitting on the bank of a stream a young fisherman trolled his bait lazily in the water and chewed comfortably on a blade of grass.

"Catch anything yet?" asked the stranger.

"Nope," murmured the fishermen.

"That's strange. It appears to be such a fine stream for trout," said the stranger.

"It must be," replied the fishermen, "they refuse to leave it."