Mel: "Well hello John Corcoran. Remember me? We met in Maine one rainy night, about six years ago at the Moose River Junction, during your sales seminar."

John: "Goodbye, sir."

Mel: "Aren't you going to try to sell me something?"

John: "No, I only sell memory courses."

I changed my reference to the bathroom from John to Jim...

Sounds much more impressive saying I went to the "Jim" this morning.

The discussion goes on and on as to if smoking is good or bad for you.

But how can they question that when it cures salmon?

Little Johnny's school cook prided herself on the healthy meals she provided with lots of vegetables and fruits.

One day when the power failed, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

Upon filling up his plate, Little Johnny's comment was, "Finally, a home-cooked meal!"