Ban Pre-Shredded cheese!

Make America GRATE again!

Always be yourself...

Unless you can be a pirate...

in which case, DEFINITELY be a pirate!

My idea of a SUPER BOWL is a toilet that cleans itself...

Have a fisherman friend that is always exaggerating the size of the CATFISH he catches. I ask him what was the size of his latest catch.

He replied, "Five inches!"

"Five inches?" I asked. "Five inches is not a very large catfish."

"You didn't let me finish," he began, "five inches between the eyes!"