I have determined that there are two important lessons in life...

I can't remember the first, BUT THE SECOND is to write everything down!

I was sharing with a friend my opinion that women should come with instructions.

She replied, "Why? It's not like men read the instructions anyway."

I am so broke, I had to put my nervous breakdown on layaway.

i enjoy the comedy technique of Self-Deprecation...

But I am not very good with it.