What is wrong with a chicken that can't lay eggs?

Henopause.

Text message from husband to his wife:

A very nice Highway Patrol officer asked me if I was drinking.

I jokingly replied, "That depends, are you buying?"

Tough crowd. Please send bail money.

My college son texted me a request for additional funds. He ended his text with "PLZ".

I asked him why he used the abbreviation. He said it was shorter than writing please.

I replied with, "No."

He asked why. I said it was shorter than writing yes.

I thought growing old GROWING OLD would take longer!