A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times.

As I picked out flowers for my mother, I noticed a man next to me juggling three boxes of candy and a large bouquet.

"What did you do wrong?" I said with a laugh.

He mumbled back, "I got married."

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

My colleague has been living in this country only a few months and is just learning the language.

Although normally chipper, he recently looked sad.

When I asked what was wrong, he responded glumly, “Today, everything wrong is going in my favor.”