My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone’s well-intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed.

"I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy smart, more like Wheel of Fortune smart."

My friend has a bad habit of overdrawing her bank account.

One day before we went shopping, I complained about my lack of funds and lamented, “Guess I’ll use plastic.”

Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook, “That's okay, I’m using rubber.”

The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion.

So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove.

Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed.”