I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.

It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

My young son declared, “When 
I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mommy.”

“You can’t marry your own mother,” said his older sister.

“Then I’ll marry you.”

“You can’t marry me either.”

He looked confused, so I explained, “You can’t marry someone in your own family.”

“You mean I have to marry a total stranger?!?!” he cried.

It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it.

When we got home, the kids rushed right into the house with the news. "Daddy, the Jeep was breaking down, but Mom made the noise stop!"

Impressed, my husband asked, "How did you fix it?"

"I turned up the volume on the radio," I confessed.

My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll call and he never heard his name.

"Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William?!" he complained.