Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.”

“An iPod?” she guessed.

“Close,” I said. “But what I’m thinking of is a little smaller.”

“A Shuffle!”

Workers from different trades were asked, "What is the number one rule in your profession?"

Here were some responses...

Plumber: “Don’t chew your fingernails.”

Roofer: “You are fired before you hit the ground.”

Camp counselor: “Don’t lose the kid.”

Scuba diver: “If it moves, it wants to kill you.”

Photographer: “Take the lens cap off.”

Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."

"Sometimes, it’s easy to get carried away when you’re with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life."

"Don’t worry," she said. "I don’t plan on ruining my life until I get married."

The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.

“The bad news is, your blood 
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”

“What’s the good news?”

“Your cholesterol is 130.”