One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is, “What’s good tonight?”

Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.

He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.”

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand.

"If the main parachute malfunctions," he asked, "how long do we have to deploy the reserve?"

Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, "The rest of your life."

We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting.

“He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said.

“That won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”