"These are the proper names for the parts of the golf course," a father instructed his ten year old.
You start at the tee, walk down the fairway and put your ball in the hole on the green.

"But dad, what do you call that part where your ball gets lost in the tall grass?" his son asked.

"Oh that's what I call the un-fairway," he replied.

What kind of fuel does the king use in his castle?

He always uses one of the noble gases.

It has been finally realized that babies born on holidays are more than likely to be little girls...

The reason is because there is no mail delivery on holidays.

Two young boys were out playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.

"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.

" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"