Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Worse: With corrections.

Due to recent cutbacks...

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles, Please no bags,

Please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots, Please no gray,

As for my belly, Please take it away.

Keep me healthy, Keep me young,

And thank you Lord, For all you've done.

The ship was sinking and four sailors were able to get a lifeboat into the water and climb into it safely. As they relaxed, they decided to have a cigarette and relax a few moments before starting their journey to safety.

The cigarettes were dry but all their matches had become wet. They had no way to light their cigarettes. Finally, one of the sailors came up with a solution. He threw away one cigarette overboard.

"What are you doing?" asked one of the other sailors.

"Don't worry, this will work," he began. "The lifeboat is a cigarette lighter now!"