John: Do you know how we can make varnish disappear?

Joseph: No. How can we make it disappear?

John: Just remove the letter "r" and it will vanish!

"Why is your book so old?"

"What do you expect, it's my history book!"

A man says to a friend, “My wife is on a three-week diet.”

“Oh, yeah? How much has she lost so far?” asks his pal.

He replies, “Two weeks.”

Why did the barber win the race?

Because he took a short-cut!