Humpty: I want to paint my bicycle but i don't have money to buy the paint!

Dumpty: Once when i needed money i sold my watch. Why don't you sell your watch and get the money?

Humpty: No, not my watch! It belonged to my grandfather. But you have given me an idea.

The Next Day...

Humpty: I got the paint!

Dumpty: Then why are you looking so unhappy? Don't tell me you sold your watch!

Humpty: No, not the watch.

Dumpty: Then what did you sell?

Humpty: The bicycle!

Why was the desert so bored?

Because it had nothing left to sea!

Why did the elevator go to the doctor?

Because it was coming down with something.

A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check.

“Of course,” I said. “But I’ll need to see ID.”

She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot.

“That’s me in the middle,” she said.