What can you break without touching?

Promise.

Teacher: What's 5 plus 3?

Student: Um... I don't know?

Teacher: You silly boy, it is 8.

Student: Wait... yesterday you said that 4 and 4 was 8?!?!

Son: "Mom, do I look like God?"

Mom: "No, honey. Why?"

Son: "Because everywhere I go, people say, 'Oh God, he is back!'"

"What would you like for your birthday?"

"Nothing would make me happier than a guitar!"

"Great, I'll get you nothing then."