Doctor: I am sorry I can't treat your ailment!

Patient: Why doctor? Is it that serious?

Doctor: No. Your ailment was not covered in my medical study book.

Patient, trembling in fear: Which book was that?

Doctor: How to become doctor in 30 days!

"I love you" is a mathematical function where, 'I love' is the constant and 'you' is the variable...

And marriage inverts the function, where "you" becomes the constant, "i love" becomes the variable.

Me: "Oh God, please save me!"

God: "Would you prefer as a JPEG file or a PDF file?"

"The letter 'W' is the most dangerous alphabet in the world. Because all worries start with 'W'.... Who, Why, What, When, Which, Whom, Where, War, Wine, Whisky, and Wealth."

"You're forgetting one."

"Really? Which one?"

"Wife!"