Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a racehorse.

Doctor: Take one of these pills every 4 laps.

A boy says to his friend, "Today my test results are out and my dad is at home. If I fail in one subject, text me saying ‘good morning to you’. If I fail in two, text me ‘Good morning to you and to your dad.’"

His friend agreed. Minutes later the boy gets a text from his friend. “Good morning to you and to your family and to your neighbors also!"

In which bank doers Dracula like to save money?

In a blood bank!

The height of bad luck...

Your battery is at 2% and you see your boss upload pictures of himself and his family...

Wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs"...

Just as your battery runs out.