Secretary: "Congratulations for being elected as the new chairperson for our party!"

Party Chairman: "Thank you! But what is this noise on the streets?"

Secretary: "Sir, party members are celebrating on you becoming the new party chairman."

Chairman: "Please ask them to stop. I don't want any kind of show off from our party men."

Secretary: "Sir, they are not from our party. They belong to the opposition."

An old man walked into a car showroom and found the car he wanted to buy. He requested that the salesman not sell the particular model till the next day, since he wanted to buy it on his birthday.

The salesman gave his word. The next day the old man visited the showroom only to find the car being sold to a young lady. The young lady looked really gorgeous. The old man asked the salesman, "I told you to keep this car on hold. Not only didn't you keep your word, you also sold it at a discounted rate."

The salesman replied, "She insisted to buy only this car, and with a discount. Look how beautiful she is? How could I say no to her?"

The young lady walked up to the old man, gave the car keys to him and said, "Didn't I tell you they'd give me a discount? Happy birthday Dad!"

Boy 1: "As long as you are in school, two things will always be your friends."

Boy 2: "Who are they?

Boy1: "Classwork and Homework!"

After his mother yelled at little Johnny, he retaliated, "Don't shout at me! I am not dad!"