Wife’s diary: We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping all day with my friends. Later he was acting weird. I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late. He was silent at the restaurant too and didn’t eat much. While going to bed, he was looking serious. I quietly lied down. I felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I had lost him. What to do now?

Husband’s diary: My car didn’t start this morning. Wondering what could have happened to it. Had nice dinner with the wife.

Reporter: What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?

Boy: I had to do it. He had my skates on.

"Our topic for today is photosynthesis," began the professor. She looks at the class, points to John and asks, "What is photosynthesis?"

John replies, "Photosynthesis is our topic today!"

I always read my wife's horoscope...

To see what kind of day I am going to have.