One raindrop said to another...

"Two's company, three's a cloud!"

Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?"

Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!"

Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?"

Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."

The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."

Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"

Wife nodded in the affirmative.

"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."

Three lifelong buddies (one not so bright) were returning from a day of mountain biking in the Rocky Mountains. The not so bright buddy was in the back of the truck to better enjoy the mountains.

Heading around a rather tight turn, the truck veers off the cliff and plummets into a lake just below.

After just a few seconds, the two buddies in the truck cab break the surface with a gasp of air. To their horror, they realize their not so bright companion was still under water and they both immediately dove down to rescue him.

They pulled him to the surface and after a coughing fit asked him why he hadn't swam to the surface. With an annoyed look on his face, the not so bright buddy says, “I couldn't get the tailgate open!”