Knock, knock...

Who's there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs your doorbell!

My son thinks I set the bar too high for him as a child.

It seems like he never got over it.

Customer: "How much is the hamburger steak?"

Butcher: "$1.98 cents a pound."

Customer: "But at the corner market is is only $0.98 cents a pound."

Butcher: "Then you should go there to buy it."

Customer: "But they are all out of it."

Butcher: " Oh, I see. When we don't have any we sell it for $0.50 cents a pound."

A New York importer consulted the wine list at an in in the Chateau district of France. She was surprised to note that the wines of poor years were priced very much higher than those of good years.

"It is for your compatriots, who usually know nothing about wines," the proprietor explained. "They always order the most expensive. Thus we sell them our poor wines and save the best for our regular clients.