What kind of berry has a coloring book?

A crayon-berry!

My three year old was saying his nightly prayers in a very low voice.

"I can't hear you," I whispered.

He said firmly, "Wasn't talking to you."

"And you say you were in the town where I was born?" she murmured softly.

"Yes," he replied.

"And you thought of me, Bob?" she cooed.

"I did," replied Bob. "I said to myself, 'Why, isn't this where what's-her-name born?'"

On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon my buddy and I stood on the first tee of our Golf Club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding dress came running up to him, crying.

She slaps him in the face, turns, and runs away.

My buddy turns to me and says calmly, "I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rained."