The mathematics professor noticed that one of his pupils was going from day-dreaming to sleep and back. He was oblivious and not following the instructions on the chalk board.

To recall his attention the professor said sharply: "Brown, Brown, board!"

Brown, startled looked up and replied, "Yes sir, very much."

My uncle, known for his heavy foot, was stopped by high patrol for driving 88 miles per hour in a 60 miles per hour zone.

Uncle: "Officer, was I driving too fast."

Officer: "No, I'm not giving you a speeding ticket. I'm ticketing you for flying too low without a pilot's license."

Little Johnny came home from Sunday School with the distressing news news that he had lost the penny given to him for the collection.

"But Johnny, this is the third Sunday in a row that you have lost your penny," indicated his mother.

"Well," replied Johnny, "I gotta win sooner or later."

Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured.

"You don't love me any more," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling."

"What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse."