Its time for spring cleaning and I answered the doorbell and discovered a half-dozen vacuum cleaner salesmen who indicated they have appointments to demonstrate their products.

I went to my wife who she to me, "Send them each to a different room!"

Yo Momma is so dumb...

She was hiding from burglars behind glass doors!

A girl walked into a bar and said to the barman, "Bud light please."

He said, "Are you 18?"

She said, "No."

He said, "I can't serve you then."

As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth bar i have been in today. What does a 22 year old have to do to get a beer around here?"

My new neighbor, Hans, just moved to the states from Norway and was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer, "I saw a big sign with 66 on it."

"That's highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.

Hans replied, "You should have seen me yesterday on Highway 110!"