"Why did you name your pig Ink?"

"Because it kept running out of the pen."

Wife: "I lost my keys again."

Husband: "It's in your jeans."

Wife: "Don't drag my family into this!"

What does a tree drink?

Root beer.

Dentist: "How did you lose your three teeth?"

Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."

Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."

Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."