The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper.

He categorically denied doing so.

That led to my next question, “Then why is this in French?”

Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?

It was full.

One day a man was going home...

Thief: "Stop! Give me your wallet! (The man hands him his wallet.) Ha! See how I fooled you! There are no bullets in this gun."

Man: "Ha! See how I fooled you! There's no money in that wallet!"

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.