My wife asked me before going to the hairdressers, "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"

"A power cut" was apparently the wrong answer.

Father to Daughter: It's a good thing you chose to takes accounting at school.

Daughter: How come?

Father: Because I want you to account for coming home at five am this morning.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window?

Because he wanted to see a butter fly!

"I'll have an H2O," says the first.

"I'll have an H2O too," says the second.

The second man dies.