An elderly American couple went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150".

The man thought about it and told him that he would just have his wife shipped home. The undertaker was surprised. He asked the man, "Why would you spend $5,000 to have your wife shipped home when it would be wonderful for her to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried, and three days later he rose from the dead. I can't take that risk."

A fly feels a bug on its back.

"Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asks.

"I 'might' be," giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard," groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly..."

Little Johnny ran into the room sobbing as through his heart would break.

"Whats the problem Johnny?" asked his mother.

"Oh, daddy was hanging a picture and he dropped it on his toe," replied Johnny.

"Why, that's nothing to cry about. You should be laughing at that," said his mother.

"I did," Johnny replied.

An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.

After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"