Maddi: "But you've only known the man for two weeks! You're not thinking of marrying him are you?"

Julia: "Well it isn't as if he's a total stranger... I have a girlfriend that was engaged to him for several years."

During the recent winter Olympus the leading downhill skier. was told he had a temperature.

"How high is it doctor?" he wanted to know.

"A hundred and one..."

"What's the world record?"

Two actuaries are duck hunting. They see a duck in the air and they both shoot.

The first actuary’s shot is 20 feet wide to the left.

The second actuary’s shot is 20 feet wide to the right.

The actuaries give each other high fives, because on average they shot it.

A chemist's favorite carnival ride is...

The Ferrous Wheel!