A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph.

"This is a fine picture" said the neighbor. "But this is a picture of one of the girls. Where is the other one?"

"Well," said the father, "when we got to the photographer's, the good wife and I decided that since the twins look exactly alike, one picture would do for both of them."

Two drunks were babbling about when they were born as they leaned heavily against the bar.

"You know," said one, "when I was born I weighed a pound and a half, and that's a fact."

"You don't say," said the other. "And did you live?"

"Did I live?" exclaimed the first. "Heck man, you ought to see me now."

Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liars contest. After agreeing to the rules the first says, "I have never told a lie,"

The second indicated that he was not capable of telling a lie.

The third won the prize as he assured the bartender that, "The other two had told the exact truth."

The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband's life. In fact he thought it was too easy.

When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, "Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?"

"That would depend entirely," the insurance man replied, "on how the evidence is presented to the jury."