Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle's bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, "These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could make them with no salt?"

Every day afterwards the pretzel was salt free. After a while the teacher felt she was making too much extra work for Little Johnny's uncle to make them without salt especially for her.

"Little Johnny, I hope your uncle is not going to any great time to prepare the pretzel without salt?"

"Oh no," replied Little Johnny, "he doesn't make them without salt. I lick the salt off."

10 reasons you might be an artist:

10) You were more concerned about the color of your car than the fuel consumption.
9) The highlights in your hair are from your palette and not Clairol.
8) You are having lunch with the girls and the fragrance you wear is eau d'linseed oil.
7) The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2000 easel.
6) You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel its texture.
5) You talk about going to a show where the pictures don't move.
4) You know what shade of green the lichen on the trees is.
3) You can't find a nice outfit for your date because everything has paint smears on.
2) Your date ends up with paint smears on her/him.

And the final reason you might be an artist...

#1) If you are over age 50 and still have no health insurance.

Little Johnny: "Grandma, if I was invited out to dinner, should I eat pie with a fork?"

Grandma: "Yes, indeed, Johnny."

Little Johnny: "You haven't got a pie in the house I could practice on, have you, Grandma?"

One day, the horse became very ill and he called the veterinarian, who said, "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him to sleep."

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation. The next day, the Vet gave him the medicine and left. The goat approached the horse and said, "Be strong, friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!"

On the second day, the doc again gave him the medicine and left. The goat came back and said, "Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three..."

The poor horse wouldn't get up. On the third day, the Vet gave one look at the horse and said, "Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses."

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said, "Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!"

All of a sudden, the owner came back to the farm, saw the horse running on the field. Not aware of the goats role in this he began shouting, "It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a Grand celebration... LET'S COOK THE GOAT!"