Little Johnny swallowed a coin and his mother was very much alarmed. She said to her husband, "Quick, quick send for the doctor!"

"No," replied Johnny's father. "Not the doctor, get the minister instead!"

"Oh no," exclaimed the mother. "You think Johnny is going to die?"

Father replied, "Oh, no, but our minister can get money out of anyone!"

The traveling salesman was passing through a small western town selling an elixir which he declared: "will make men live to a great age!"

"Look at me," he shouted. "Hale and hearty, I'm over 300 years old."

"Is he really as old as that?" a bystander ask the youthful assistant.

"I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for just over a 100 years."

My friend seemed really down as we were having an after work visit to the local bar. After a few beers he finally shared his story. "I finally snapped. Last night while I was going over the bills, I discovered how much money my wife squanders and I hit the roof. I stormed into the bedroom and gave her a lecture on economy and thrift.”

“Did it help?”

“I’ll say. Tomorrow we’re selling my boat and sailing equipment.”

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”