Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."

St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."

St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."

St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But... you can only stay for three days. After that, you got to go!"

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."

How do vampires start their letters?

"Tomb it may concern..."

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs £1.50.

A chicken pie in Trinidad costs £1.75.

A chicken pie in St Kitts costs £2.50.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean!